For the umteenth time in my life, the person whom I have a crush on likes someone else and I was reading the signs all wrongly. SIGH. It’s not that I have an issue being single. I’m like a normal person, who wants to have that special someone to love and be loved, to share special moments and events with, to go out on dates and to dream of a future together. And for the past 8+ years of singlehood with no dates or even requests to go on dates, I do feel invisible. Invisible in the midst of a crowd. With the lives and timings of others getting attached, engaged and married. I know and heard and even accepted all the articles and well-meaning sympathy of others telling me that my time will come; at God’s timing it will all happen; focus on God first and He will meet all your needs. YES. YES I KNOW ALL THESE. SIGH. But yet it doesn’t change anything. I hold out for something more, believing that I have not been forgotten yet. But how do I prevent this feeling of being overlooked, of being lost in the crowd?
Perhaps this chapter in Laurie Beth Jones’ book ‘Jesus, Life Coach’ is a God-sent, an assurance that I am not part of the crowd and lost in it, that Jesus sees me and me separate from the crowd. I’m not just another face in the sea of people. He knows and loves me. He died for me. He has a great plan for me. He knows who I am and my past and where He has planned for me to go. He loves who He created me to be. I am seen, in the midst of the crowd of people. Even as I feel disappointed by others who forgot about me, for all the times I felt left out and looked over, all the times I left my life didn’t matter, that I didn’t matter to the world, He sees me. He sees me. He see me.